Christmas + Bali

Yea, so, Christmas went by, without being all christmas-y at all, somehow.
I dunno why, all my other Christmases went, uh, well, christmas-y. While now, even when I'm with most of my extended family, Christmas felt like nothing. Almost nothing at all. We didn't celebrate it, pretty much. We just went to the church and stuff. That's it. Like, maybe Christmas is gone for us. or like, for me. To be honest, sometimes I just don't feel the family bond in my family. Like, the last part of my family that I still hold bonds with, kinda broke it 2 weeks ago. It's sucky and all, but, maybe it's better this way? I mean, I don't exactly fit into my family. I mean I do in a normal level, but not enough to make me really a part of the family. Some people from my family sometimes even forget me! Not as in forget who I am but like, forget that I'm there.
Meh, I dunno, things are quite fucked up lately.

But on the other hand, Bali has been nice. I went to 2 beaches so far which are Sindhu and Nusa Dua. The waves in Nusa Dua were aaaweesome! My cuz taught me how to body surf and I kinda used it for some specific advantages *chling*
Like, somehow I really feel like living when I'm on the beach. Like, it's where I'm supposed to be. I used to do these little dumb quizzes in facebook back in the past, where they tell you what element you belong in based on your answers, and it always came with water. And apparently I do feel well living with water around.
Oh and I bought naisu clothing and sandals and keychain and most importantly, a Balinese traditional headwear-thingy, which is an Udeng, And it is awezum.

On the downside, I haven't been able to use my laptop a lot, so I haven't gone anywhere with my supposed-to-be-finished-this-year drawings. oh man @@

oh well
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year

"Curhat", Raves+Rants

XD eh well, in Indonesia, "Curhat" is short for "Curahan Hati". It's literally translated as "Pouring of the heart" or "Venting of the heart". It's basically when someone rants or raves, or basically vents about the things that happen in their life. It's most commonly used when someone is talking about love and relationships.


As for me here, being a guy that trusts the internet, I do prefer to do my 'curhat' here in my blog, or my facebook, and sometimes in FA or DA. 


So uh well, life's been mm... good, pretty much. Here I am back in Solo, Indonesia, safely. My cousins from Australia are here too, and we're having a good time. Apparently my 2 younger cousins kinda forgot how to speak Indonesian x'D It's not hard for me to talk to them, but to some of my other relatives, it's kinda hard, especially my other cousins ehehe
My older cousin bought me a veeery nice gift from Australia, which is an Ouroboros symbol(From Fullmetal Alchemist) necklace. I've been wearing it since I got it X'D
Oh, and I actually have plans to go to BALI around the end of this year. oh what fun X3c;;; I'm really looking forward to it. I'll take pics, of course :'D

Going backwards, leaving Malaysia was kinda hard for me, somehow harder than leaving Indonesia 3 months ago. I actually felt what it was like to, you know, live. Living alone in my own room, spending time with friends, facing the same problems, choosing where I want to go when I want to go, choosing which people I wanna be friends with and which ones I wanna avoid. Life as a college student is extremely different than what I've been experiencing before, and I liked it. Leaving campus was hard, coz I left my friends there, the ones that I made by my own choice. And well, worst of all, actually, is leaving the person that I like. as in, "like" like.
I know it's stupid x'D being sad because of a crush. But well, crushes really do crush your heart. Being rejected, or knowing you'll be rejected really breaks your heart. Oh well, at least I still have activities back at home, since most of my extended family is here. I'll live through the 1 month vacation.


Going backwards again, 2 days before my departure back to Indonesia, I actually had a small pre-Christmas party with my church friends. It was actually, well, something different than just any other party. It kinda felt like we're family. We cooked together, we ate together, and we actually had a roasted turkey. It was my first time eating turkey and it's heeaavenly *w*. 
The best part of the party, actually, was having an opportunity to spend some time with the person that I liked(yeah I know this sounds stupid). To be honest, I know that my crush would probably reject me, if I were to ever confess. There's like, only 10 percent chance that I'll be accepted. So like, for now I'll just be satisfied by being friends.


Haha, boring wall of text? This is what's called 'curhat' :P
I guess for the reader or listener, a curhat is something really boring and annoying, but for the speaker/writer, it's actually a good thing, you get to pour your heart out and like, feel relieved. It's healthy, in my opinion


Well see ya later, needa go to bed @@

College doodles @A@

Yes, college doodles. I'll just dump em here @@

Islander outfit <3

Really proud of this one x3

I wonder if that weapon can really be effective...

I don't rly like this one but meeh

Looks like Argon's first pic somehow

Inspired by Yuna from FFX-2(specifically) and Rinoa from FFVIII

Mummy cat nyahaha~

*sparkly eyes*

I have no idea...

Wasn't on a good mood when doing this one @@

Faiz~

You can tell that I was in a restaurant when doing this one xD

Randudum

Argon!

Well that would be all @@a
I do have like a few more drawings but they're crappy, so hahahaheu


Have a nice day, keep drawing, if you do draw, that is @@

Artdump

Have been busy with college, mmyeah
How long have it been since I posted anything here? @@ 
Doesn't matter, have s- I mean at least I'm still posting '3'

Here are some unpublished doodles that I've done during free times

This be Argon, being awesome and all.extra large kitchen knives ftw

My friend calls this 'a waste of paper'true, actually @@

I actually published this in FA but meeehh

Quick face doodle. He looks like a Korean, dontcha think?

I have more drawings actually, most were done in class, on paper*NOOOOOOOOO*
Yep, I'm gonna wait till I'm back home to scan it. Ima post it as soon as I can. 


College life has been ok @@a pretty much. Though there are waay too many distractions around *spins*


well cya in the next post @@a

I'm sure a lot of people went through this

Before I talk about anything, have this thingy :U
 

Happens to me Every single time

Now to the serious stuff. I've actually been feeling very.. what's the word.. Hopeless about my art. It's been quite a while since I joined art sites like DA and FA, but I don't feel like I'm recognized by people.
I don't get much friends either. Most of the friends I have now would be the Furries from my country which joined a group that I manage in FB. It's kinda depressing really.

I mean the point of me joining those sites is to get recognized by people, and know some new faces. Coz, well, nobody here recognizes my art skills. I know it's not much yet, but it's something already, right?

I'm even thinking of giving up art. It's been more than a year since I've joined FA and I've only gotten 2900 views so far. Maybe it's quite something... but... Views are just, views, lol. and I don't even know how it works, like is it counting how many people seen my page or how many people opened my page or something... It's actually comments that I need. It seems like only a few people care to say something about my art. Like it's just 'oh it's art *opens another*'. 
I know I'm being egoistic about this. But I just.. wanna make people know that I'm not just another artist.. that I'm special in some ways.

Meh, though if I did abandon my art, I still have a few other ways anyway. I'm good at cooking, I have a strong feeling for music, I excel in science-related stuff, I'm good with psychology.. not to brag, it's just true.. really. 

I'll just consider it I guess... Maybe not taking art subject in college isn't so wrong after all..

Doodles : Kreecher Series 1

Er, I've had so little ideas for my drawings lately, though I did these as practice.I Call them 'Kreechers'. no not the Harry Potter Kreacher, it's Kreecher.

They're basically human figure drawings with no facial identity and just slight not-human-ness. I'll be posting more when I draw more of them... I guess

The first Kreecher. Started out as a simple random sketch and decided to define the body shape

 

I actually started with the dagger and the body just popped out of nowhere

 

The most beautiful kreecher so far, well she's the only girl for now

Green Goblin Kreecher LOL
His mask, I love more than others <3

 

I love his weapons the most <3

If you might be noticing, I've actually used those kinds of markings they have on their masks on other drawings and characters. I will simply love you for knowing where else I've used them on :'D~

Rest time for me, I'm feelin not so good, kinda tired and stuff. Hope I'll get better soon .3.  

Sketches and Doodles and crap

Eh, I'll just dump a few here if u wanna see .3.

Hahahahapun

Feral... CUTE DX

For that pokemon crossing stuff. Mm Linearts

Now this one's random, but I like that sonic boom hand *w*

This would be my fav XD somekind of heartless hohoh

 Dansu time (~.3.)~

Yum~

Skittles~!!

Yes, this be the first time I ate one. I've heard of it like a long time ago but I could never find it in my local supermarket D: But fortunately, when I went to semarang yesterday, we stopped by Gelael and I found one of these. mmmm I do taste the rainbow <3

 Mm, now to continue my last blog 

 I actually made a template for this thing, some like a mannequinn that I can dress up any way I want XD
 Anyway, this would be the image I'm gonna aim for. I have all the components right now so It's pretty much done 
The reason I made this stuff is to be able to be recognized by anyone. See, not all people fold their sleeves unevenly and there's more people wearing watches on their left hand than their right. Oh and the jade necklace is under my shirt there.I wonder where I can get a teal hoodie ;3; the only one I have is a plain black hoodie..

Oh and also here's a pic of my dog and her pups, who was born INSIDE the couch o_o

There's the black one on her belly, and there's the 2 others near her head 8D

They're just so cute ;3;No the couch wasn't that destroyed at first, but we had to destroy it ourselves unless we want them to suffocate ;3; poor couch...

Btw tomorrow's Indonesia's independence day. My friends and I actually did a major collab last year.

Woo so crowded 8'D

  This brings back memories X'D 
Mmm well I don't have much to say about tomorrow except that I won't be joining any flag ceremony since I graduated >.>;; well at least the roads will be decorated with flags everywhere 8'D


 Btw, a few days ago, I bought these

Comicbooks from Koloni!

If you are an Indonesian, these two books are must haves. You'll have your eyes filled with tears when reading 'Pelangi di naungan mentari' and 'Kopi pahit' (Though the first one would be tears of emotion, while the other tears of laughter (okay those are not the right phrases but who cares :P))
 Kamfretto and extremely garudaboi are rly nice as well, though to be honest the plot in Dewa Keris is kinda cliffhangin, so, I'm not much of a fan of it XD


Meh, I gotta eat =3=
Do expect a whole lot of sketches in the next blog. I am currently fighting a potential art block by sketching random dumdedums. 
See ya readers (if there are one o_o *pessimistic* *Brickd*) 

Few stuff~ =w=

Eh, nothing significantly interesting has been happening lately, so I didn't feel the need to write it out.
Yknow, No more school, always staying at home, it gets quite boring sometimes. though still, some things happened :3

First of all, The Indonesian Furries made a collab, organized through our FB group. I was honored to be the organizer :'D 
Basically my friends sent me their pics following a specific theme that we chose and I compile them into one file. Though nobody said anything about what the file should be, so I made it into an interactive flash movie :3 Check it out 

Then, I went to Bandung like, last week or something, and met some of the indofurs I know in person. I didn't get to meet many of them since it's the first day of the fasting month, so they were busy having their first dinner with their families, and We didn't do much either since there's not much time, but it was all good :3
It pretty much helped me be closer to some of my friends that I've never really got close to, so, it's all good xD
 
Then.. uhh, like, last week is pretty much a really boring week. all I did is stay at home and do stuff with my laptop... it was.. eehh boring.

Though today wasn't that boring. I watched Harry Potter 7 part 2 :D It was great! though, it wasn't as great as I expected... HP7part1 was much better in my opinion, Though it might just be coz I don't want it to end just yet
And transformers 3 is on the movies, I think I'll be watching it soon enough.

 Last one, I bought the cheap(lol) jade necklace that I eyed weeks ago. I know necklaces aren't useful but hey, it's just about $2.50, no harm done to my wallet xD 
Though still, eeh I'm kinda forming an image of myself lately. the jade necklace is definitely in.
 My goal is to make an image of myself that people will recognize immediately. I dunno if I sound desperate but I'm a maniac for originality and uniqueness 

I'm kinda sleepy right now, I'll make a pic for what image I'm aiming for soon.
Sleeptime nite nite =w=/

Graduation, Empty days, and a lot of stuff

First of all, I'm a high school graduate now, and that's a big yay for me :D

Actually I didn't wear anything like this o.o

So apparently we didn't have any graduation ceremony... or any ceremony.. at all really
All we did is finish the test, stop going to school, and... done.. ._.a
It's actually because I'm in an international program thing that my school has. It gives us an O level certificate instead of an Indonesian National certificate. The O level thing can be accepted in countries other than Indonesia, but not in Indonesia itself. So I'm going abroad whether I want it or not. and I so want it XD
Though I really think because we're in this IP(international program), we're being treated differently from the other people. We're only 6 people in a single class, and we're like, ignored by the school most of the time. If there were some announcement letters sent to all classes, sometimes my class doesn't get it .3. Iunno, I think it's pretty ironic, really. We're paying more than other classes for the program, but we get a kinda bad treatment. We don't even have graduation ceremonies D:
I dunno if my classmates think the same, but I think it's pretty obvious. We deserved a better treatment .3.
Well I don't rly care anymore, I'm graduated, yay .w.~

So, I'm going to college in October, going to Malaysia. It's gonna be a whole new environment for me to live in. New start in everything, and I do plan to change the way I live.
I've been stuck inside this room with only the internet as my window to the outside world long enough. I'm gonna live how I should live, live better. Walk around, breathe fresh air, and stop being stuck in the house.
Seriously, I can't ride a bike, motorcycle, nor a car, and the public transport in Indonesia sucks bad, and I can only go so far on foot. This place is hopeless imo, atleast for now .3.

I still have like a few months till October, and time's gonna run fast. I'm promising myself to make these days useful.
First of all, I'm gonna learn to cook. I'm doomed out there without a skill with pans and spatulas, considering that money is a hard thing to get once you're away somewhere out there. Then, I'm gonna start making myself more independent. I think I rely too much on my parents and stuff, and that's kinda bad.  
And another is art. I'm gonna improve my art as much as possible, so that at least when I get to college I'm able to sell some commissions where people would actually want it, not like people have some spare money to spend or something like that. Money is gonna be a problem and I think doing commishes would have quite some impact.
I'll be making a schedule of what I'm gonna be learning, coz I figured that schools work coz it's planned and scheduled. I hope it'll work .3. 
Guh enough of those stuff, anywho, these days won't be useless :3 

Mm so it's like holiday time for everybody recently, and I've been spending time with my cuzzins :3 It's like fun. first I went to their place which is out of town, and there was a lot that I did. I really enjoyed it. Then we came back to our place at our town and did more stuff (lol too little details)
Most of the time we just walked around random malls and visited some food spots and such. Holidays are the time to gain weight anyway XP I'm gonna try to not get too stuffed though.
And like for the past 2 days I've got interested in getting a necklace/pendant/whateverit'scalled for myself. For once I'd like to spend my money on something NOT edible XP
Sooo we went to the mall and I looked around. Apparently they didn't sell some that looks nice for me. Most of the necklaces/pendant/whutthewhat that were sold were like, glittering and sparkly @3@ It's hoorrrible I tell ya. 
One scary experience(in a way) is when I saw something that looks like an awesome pendant in a girly store. I thought, who knows, it may be awesome. But looking at the store, I'm already shivering

I forgot its name lol 

Its atmosphere was enough to burn my skin(or something like that) But that pendant is looking really interesting, So I finally entered that store... Only to find that the pendant didn't look nice @_@ so I walked out quickly, feeling burned from the pink lights. Guh that was scary
 So I went to a different mall today, where I've seen a good necklacependantwhateverstuff before. I went to look for it again and it was there, though it was extremely expensive ;3; So I thought it might not be worth it, so I went to look for others.
Then I walked pass this store, which sell like jade accessories, and I found this really interesting pendant.

Pretty~

It has a letter meaning Blessing on it. Not sure if I wrote that one right, I asked google translate @_@ though It looks real great, and it's cheap too. But my cuz said I should think about it first, and the storekeeper said they're still gonna be there for a long time too. So I didn't buy it yet. I do like it so much though. If only it was blue ;3;

Maybe it'sall. nuff for this textwall. goin to bed~

Oh and have a idunnohowtodescribethis doodle before I leave :P

Howl!

So there's a full moon tonight, and it's ridiculously bright @w@
And there's going to be a lunar eclipse soon... I'm totally gonna go see 8D

Before I changed my Fursona, I was a wolf, so, reacting to the full moon I'd probably howl around XD  

So Before, I was like...

And now, I'm a blue panda, so I can't exactly howl to the moon. I don't even quite know what sounds red pandas make o_O

And now I'm like...

 

 I kinda regret changing species coz I can't howl anymore, But hey, humans can howl anyway(maybe not so much like wolves but you get the point) so I can still howl XD
I still haven't explored the fun of being a red panda anyway, so I'll save my regrets for later


Now I'm gonna look for the moon eclipse 9_9~

ASIAN EYES

Got a problem with that? *_*

Hahah, this is some kind of inside joke among me and my friends XD The four of us put these headshots of our characters with narrow eyes as our MSN display pics XD We're asian anyways :P


Anywho, today's the 2nd of June, which is 40 days from Easter day. For us Christians,  this is the day when our Lord Jesus ascends to Heaven, after being resurrected 40 days before.

'Tis the Cross o3o/

This means quite much to me I guess, though apparently the teenagers in my church didn't have any service, so I didn't go anywhere today o.o


Another thing, yesterday was a great day :D. It's like, life shown it to me right from the start. The first time I looked into my watch, it was 1:11:11 11th June 2011. 
"1, 11, 11, 11, 6, 11"
"1, 10+1, 10+1, 10+1, 5+1, 10+1" <- awesome numbers with 1 added 8D
"1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 5, 10, 10, 10" <- See the 6 "1"s? the only 6 which occured in the first set? 8D;;
"1+11+11+11+6+11 = 51" <- Another number ending with 1!
"51 = 50+1" <- another 5-ish number with 1 added!
"50+1 = 5x10 +1" <- There was 5 and 10 in the earlier series XD
"51 = 17x3" <- 17 just happened to be my favorite/lucky number XD 

GAH enough math work, bottom line, yesterday was a really good day to me, I learned a lot of stuff that will change my life and stuff like that. woo~

Good Day ish Good

 Now I really want coffee, but it's 7 PM and I doubt I'll be able to sleep if I did.
...

Meh what the heck *goes get coffee* .3.  

Teenagers

Avoid this pic if u don't wanna read amateur psychological observations

 

Yeah, teenagers.

One second they're like 'RAGE! THIS SUCKS, THAT SUCKS, LIFE SUCKS IMMA HIT PEOPLE' and 5 minutes later they're like 'OMG I'M SO HAPPY! LIFE IS WONDERFUL IMMA GIVE GIFTS TO PEOPLE'

Aren't we?

Yeah, actually XD
Till now I'm still wondering how it works that way, I mean, How does our mind take such little things and turn it into huge things that makes us so worked up and upset. For me, I'm trying as hard as I can to be mature, but it doesn't go that easily, apparently. The small things like connection problems and being asked for help when I don't wanna help gets me fired up, and I feel like wrecking the place.

Phew, It's probably in the hormones, and we can't do much about it.
I just hope when I get older I don't keep this teenage mood swing with me DX 

I'm definitely not bragging

Basically, I'm too smart to be stupid.
Again, NO, I'm NOT bragging. I'm more like ranting.
See, I've seen a lot of people being able to do irresponsible and stupid things when they're angry.  While me? No, Every time I get angry and wanna do something, my mind just HAD to think of the consequences, making me NOT able to do it, STRESSING my INSIDES...
Something like this. I think of throwing the router to the floor when my connection go crazy(crazy here means either going as slow as 5 KB/s or going on and off every few seconds, which just happened). THEN, my mind just HAD to think of what will happen next. The router gets broken, I can't connect to the internet, bla bla bla, whatever.
Another thing, My laptop goes really slow of no reason, I get angry and think of slamming it with my hands. THEN my mind thinks of what happens next. It gets broken, I can't use it anymore, bla bla bla, etc.
Other things even, like I wanna kick the table. Then I think of the noise it will cause, and my parents will worry about me, and they will ask stuff, bla bla bla.
I wanna kick my dog. then I think of how she will feel, hurt, unloved, and I will look like an abuser, bla bla bla.

You know, ALL of these things make me a 'GOOD BOY' in people's eyes. Doesn't get angry, doesn't break stuff, can manage anger well, bla bla bla. But you know what I see? a 'PRESSURED, DEPRESSED, TIME BOMB'. Yeah, that's right. Someday in the future I might just explode. I dunno what it will be like, but I know it won't be pretty. It might just change me 180 degrees. Who knows, when I'm 18 I might be something like a thug, robbing people or something.

And just now a cockroach appeared, and I didn't have anything to get rid of it. I had to go get a bugspray and spray below my desk.
I sprayed a whole lot more than I needed to.

You know what? If this bugspray poisoned me tonight, I'd be glad. Heck, let it kill me before I explode. The world is better with one less time bomb.

Nuff said. 
 
 

*snort*

 

I am sick o_o
 

 Lol well I guess I'm not that high in temperature XD but I felt horrible this afternoon
Anywho I took my medicine and I think I feel kinda better. Gonna have dinner and drink juice 8D

Hm about today, earlier I got a physics practical test, which wasn't so hard XD There were 4 experiments. About force, light, electricity, and temperature. It went pretty well and I got a thumb up from my teacher for finishing quickly 8D *happy*

 

Preeettyy~ 

Right after the experiment I went home and took a nap, and I felt horrible coz of my sickness o_o And I keep on dreaming about the experiments XDa I dunno why. I guess it was the only thing I could think of and it stayed in my mind.

I wonder how I can get well quickly...
Oh right! people say happiness is a cure for anything, right? 8D
Then *plays a lot of games for 5 hours*
...
*gets sent to the hospital*
 Lol JK

Well see ya guys in the next post owo/  

Fursona :D

Mm basically today marks the day when I change my fursona XD
If you dunno what a fursona is, it's basically an anthropomorph character, usually with fur(there are also scalesonas and feathersonas), which represents us, like a persona :3
I'll just show you the current 3 stages of my fursona development  

This would be my first design, originally created at March 2010 

Just a generic gray wolf... Extremely common and unoriginal, really OTZL

And this is pretty much my second design. I didn't have a decent pic so have this animation instead XD
This was my icon for winter (which we don't have here OTZL) Which I'm pretty much proud of.

 The modifications are just the hair, the blue marking on my ear that extends to the right part of my neck, blue stripes on my tail and right foot, and claw-like marks on my shoulders, which are actually stretch marks on my skin which I rly have irl XD

I created the design October 2010 

And this would be my newest design of my Fursona. A blue red panda :D (such a contradiction XD) Anywho, there are major differences between this and my old design. First of all, the change of species means I change everything.

So, I have basic red panda markings, turned blue. The hair, blue ear, and claw markings stay, but the others change. And look! I have black limbs :D how awesome XD 

Heh I guess that's all. I've been through a lot of originality dilemmas with my fursona. I never thought it was unique enough, but now I think it is :D and I'm so happy XD