Graduation, Empty days, and a lot of stuff

First of all, I'm a high school graduate now, and that's a big yay for me :D

Actually I didn't wear anything like this o.o

So apparently we didn't have any graduation ceremony... or any ceremony.. at all really
All we did is finish the test, stop going to school, and... done.. ._.a
It's actually because I'm in an international program thing that my school has. It gives us an O level certificate instead of an Indonesian National certificate. The O level thing can be accepted in countries other than Indonesia, but not in Indonesia itself. So I'm going abroad whether I want it or not. and I so want it XD
Though I really think because we're in this IP(international program), we're being treated differently from the other people. We're only 6 people in a single class, and we're like, ignored by the school most of the time. If there were some announcement letters sent to all classes, sometimes my class doesn't get it .3. Iunno, I think it's pretty ironic, really. We're paying more than other classes for the program, but we get a kinda bad treatment. We don't even have graduation ceremonies D:
I dunno if my classmates think the same, but I think it's pretty obvious. We deserved a better treatment .3.
Well I don't rly care anymore, I'm graduated, yay .w.~

So, I'm going to college in October, going to Malaysia. It's gonna be a whole new environment for me to live in. New start in everything, and I do plan to change the way I live.
I've been stuck inside this room with only the internet as my window to the outside world long enough. I'm gonna live how I should live, live better. Walk around, breathe fresh air, and stop being stuck in the house.
Seriously, I can't ride a bike, motorcycle, nor a car, and the public transport in Indonesia sucks bad, and I can only go so far on foot. This place is hopeless imo, atleast for now .3.

I still have like a few months till October, and time's gonna run fast. I'm promising myself to make these days useful.
First of all, I'm gonna learn to cook. I'm doomed out there without a skill with pans and spatulas, considering that money is a hard thing to get once you're away somewhere out there. Then, I'm gonna start making myself more independent. I think I rely too much on my parents and stuff, and that's kinda bad.  
And another is art. I'm gonna improve my art as much as possible, so that at least when I get to college I'm able to sell some commissions where people would actually want it, not like people have some spare money to spend or something like that. Money is gonna be a problem and I think doing commishes would have quite some impact.
I'll be making a schedule of what I'm gonna be learning, coz I figured that schools work coz it's planned and scheduled. I hope it'll work .3. 
Guh enough of those stuff, anywho, these days won't be useless :3 

Mm so it's like holiday time for everybody recently, and I've been spending time with my cuzzins :3 It's like fun. first I went to their place which is out of town, and there was a lot that I did. I really enjoyed it. Then we came back to our place at our town and did more stuff (lol too little details)
Most of the time we just walked around random malls and visited some food spots and such. Holidays are the time to gain weight anyway XP I'm gonna try to not get too stuffed though.
And like for the past 2 days I've got interested in getting a necklace/pendant/whateverit'scalled for myself. For once I'd like to spend my money on something NOT edible XP
Sooo we went to the mall and I looked around. Apparently they didn't sell some that looks nice for me. Most of the necklaces/pendant/whutthewhat that were sold were like, glittering and sparkly @3@ It's hoorrrible I tell ya. 
One scary experience(in a way) is when I saw something that looks like an awesome pendant in a girly store. I thought, who knows, it may be awesome. But looking at the store, I'm already shivering

I forgot its name lol 

Its atmosphere was enough to burn my skin(or something like that) But that pendant is looking really interesting, So I finally entered that store... Only to find that the pendant didn't look nice @_@ so I walked out quickly, feeling burned from the pink lights. Guh that was scary
 So I went to a different mall today, where I've seen a good necklacependantwhateverstuff before. I went to look for it again and it was there, though it was extremely expensive ;3; So I thought it might not be worth it, so I went to look for others.
Then I walked pass this store, which sell like jade accessories, and I found this really interesting pendant.

Pretty~

It has a letter meaning Blessing on it. Not sure if I wrote that one right, I asked google translate @_@ though It looks real great, and it's cheap too. But my cuz said I should think about it first, and the storekeeper said they're still gonna be there for a long time too. So I didn't buy it yet. I do like it so much though. If only it was blue ;3;

Maybe it'sall. nuff for this textwall. goin to bed~

Oh and have a idunnohowtodescribethis doodle before I leave :P

Howl!

So there's a full moon tonight, and it's ridiculously bright @w@
And there's going to be a lunar eclipse soon... I'm totally gonna go see 8D

Before I changed my Fursona, I was a wolf, so, reacting to the full moon I'd probably howl around XD  

So Before, I was like...

And now, I'm a blue panda, so I can't exactly howl to the moon. I don't even quite know what sounds red pandas make o_O

And now I'm like...

 

 I kinda regret changing species coz I can't howl anymore, But hey, humans can howl anyway(maybe not so much like wolves but you get the point) so I can still howl XD
I still haven't explored the fun of being a red panda anyway, so I'll save my regrets for later


Now I'm gonna look for the moon eclipse 9_9~

ASIAN EYES

Got a problem with that? *_*

Hahah, this is some kind of inside joke among me and my friends XD The four of us put these headshots of our characters with narrow eyes as our MSN display pics XD We're asian anyways :P


Anywho, today's the 2nd of June, which is 40 days from Easter day. For us Christians,  this is the day when our Lord Jesus ascends to Heaven, after being resurrected 40 days before.

'Tis the Cross o3o/

This means quite much to me I guess, though apparently the teenagers in my church didn't have any service, so I didn't go anywhere today o.o


Another thing, yesterday was a great day :D. It's like, life shown it to me right from the start. The first time I looked into my watch, it was 1:11:11 11th June 2011. 
"1, 11, 11, 11, 6, 11"
"1, 10+1, 10+1, 10+1, 5+1, 10+1" <- awesome numbers with 1 added 8D
"1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 5, 10, 10, 10" <- See the 6 "1"s? the only 6 which occured in the first set? 8D;;
"1+11+11+11+6+11 = 51" <- Another number ending with 1!
"51 = 50+1" <- another 5-ish number with 1 added!
"50+1 = 5x10 +1" <- There was 5 and 10 in the earlier series XD
"51 = 17x3" <- 17 just happened to be my favorite/lucky number XD 

GAH enough math work, bottom line, yesterday was a really good day to me, I learned a lot of stuff that will change my life and stuff like that. woo~

Good Day ish Good

 Now I really want coffee, but it's 7 PM and I doubt I'll be able to sleep if I did.
...

Meh what the heck *goes get coffee* .3.  

Teenagers

Avoid this pic if u don't wanna read amateur psychological observations

 

Yeah, teenagers.

One second they're like 'RAGE! THIS SUCKS, THAT SUCKS, LIFE SUCKS IMMA HIT PEOPLE' and 5 minutes later they're like 'OMG I'M SO HAPPY! LIFE IS WONDERFUL IMMA GIVE GIFTS TO PEOPLE'

Aren't we?

Yeah, actually XD
Till now I'm still wondering how it works that way, I mean, How does our mind take such little things and turn it into huge things that makes us so worked up and upset. For me, I'm trying as hard as I can to be mature, but it doesn't go that easily, apparently. The small things like connection problems and being asked for help when I don't wanna help gets me fired up, and I feel like wrecking the place.

Phew, It's probably in the hormones, and we can't do much about it.
I just hope when I get older I don't keep this teenage mood swing with me DX 

I'm definitely not bragging

Basically, I'm too smart to be stupid.
Again, NO, I'm NOT bragging. I'm more like ranting.
See, I've seen a lot of people being able to do irresponsible and stupid things when they're angry.  While me? No, Every time I get angry and wanna do something, my mind just HAD to think of the consequences, making me NOT able to do it, STRESSING my INSIDES...
Something like this. I think of throwing the router to the floor when my connection go crazy(crazy here means either going as slow as 5 KB/s or going on and off every few seconds, which just happened). THEN, my mind just HAD to think of what will happen next. The router gets broken, I can't connect to the internet, bla bla bla, whatever.
Another thing, My laptop goes really slow of no reason, I get angry and think of slamming it with my hands. THEN my mind thinks of what happens next. It gets broken, I can't use it anymore, bla bla bla, etc.
Other things even, like I wanna kick the table. Then I think of the noise it will cause, and my parents will worry about me, and they will ask stuff, bla bla bla.
I wanna kick my dog. then I think of how she will feel, hurt, unloved, and I will look like an abuser, bla bla bla.

You know, ALL of these things make me a 'GOOD BOY' in people's eyes. Doesn't get angry, doesn't break stuff, can manage anger well, bla bla bla. But you know what I see? a 'PRESSURED, DEPRESSED, TIME BOMB'. Yeah, that's right. Someday in the future I might just explode. I dunno what it will be like, but I know it won't be pretty. It might just change me 180 degrees. Who knows, when I'm 18 I might be something like a thug, robbing people or something.

And just now a cockroach appeared, and I didn't have anything to get rid of it. I had to go get a bugspray and spray below my desk.
I sprayed a whole lot more than I needed to.

You know what? If this bugspray poisoned me tonight, I'd be glad. Heck, let it kill me before I explode. The world is better with one less time bomb.

Nuff said. 
 
 

*snort*

 

I am sick o_o
 

 Lol well I guess I'm not that high in temperature XD but I felt horrible this afternoon
Anywho I took my medicine and I think I feel kinda better. Gonna have dinner and drink juice 8D

Hm about today, earlier I got a physics practical test, which wasn't so hard XD There were 4 experiments. About force, light, electricity, and temperature. It went pretty well and I got a thumb up from my teacher for finishing quickly 8D *happy*

 

Preeettyy~ 

Right after the experiment I went home and took a nap, and I felt horrible coz of my sickness o_o And I keep on dreaming about the experiments XDa I dunno why. I guess it was the only thing I could think of and it stayed in my mind.

I wonder how I can get well quickly...
Oh right! people say happiness is a cure for anything, right? 8D
Then *plays a lot of games for 5 hours*
...
*gets sent to the hospital*
 Lol JK

Well see ya guys in the next post owo/  

Fursona :D

Mm basically today marks the day when I change my fursona XD
If you dunno what a fursona is, it's basically an anthropomorph character, usually with fur(there are also scalesonas and feathersonas), which represents us, like a persona :3
I'll just show you the current 3 stages of my fursona development  

This would be my first design, originally created at March 2010 

Just a generic gray wolf... Extremely common and unoriginal, really OTZL

And this is pretty much my second design. I didn't have a decent pic so have this animation instead XD
This was my icon for winter (which we don't have here OTZL) Which I'm pretty much proud of.

 The modifications are just the hair, the blue marking on my ear that extends to the right part of my neck, blue stripes on my tail and right foot, and claw-like marks on my shoulders, which are actually stretch marks on my skin which I rly have irl XD

I created the design October 2010 

And this would be my newest design of my Fursona. A blue red panda :D (such a contradiction XD) Anywho, there are major differences between this and my old design. First of all, the change of species means I change everything.

So, I have basic red panda markings, turned blue. The hair, blue ear, and claw markings stay, but the others change. And look! I have black limbs :D how awesome XD 

Heh I guess that's all. I've been through a lot of originality dilemmas with my fursona. I never thought it was unique enough, but now I think it is :D and I'm so happy XD